A squirrel story is that story you love to tell at parties.
It’s embarrassing. It’s goofy. It’s strange.

All I knew is I woke up and my ass hurt.

Aaron Tyree

Episode 02.02

At this time in my life, I was looking to sow some oats.

[Anonymous]

Episode 02.08

Before he found the law he was a Chippendales dancer.

Megan Steffen

Episode 02.10

Don't be a bitch about it. Shoot your shot.

Will Johnson

Episode 02.10

Don't smoke in front of that Catholic family. Oh, God!

Karla Weisenberger

Episode 02.04

Everything okay? You look pretty different.

Spencer Mapes

Episode 02.08

He lives in this god-forsaken wasteland called Cleveland.

Matt Franklin

Episode 02.06

Her breath smelled like cigarettes and beer, kind of like when Forrest Gump was kissing that stripper.

[Anonymous]

Episode 02.08

How long did they think he was alive before they realized he was dead?

Jesse Waits

Episode 02.09

I brought face masks for just that reason.

Karla Weisenberger

Episode 02.04

I come from one of those families that are beautiful and loving and incredibly fucked up.

Karla Weisenberger

Episode 02.04

I could be your best friend or I could really fuck up your plans.

Megan Steffen

Episode 02.10

I didn't really understand my hair, or my face, or my clothes, or basic human social cues.

Megan Steffen

Episode 02.10

I don't even understand how he makes pans.

Becky Blank

Episode 02.04

If my penis was David Byrne, then the magnum was the oversized suit that he wore in Stop Making Sense.

Aaron Tyree

Episode 02.09

I go in screaming, naked, everything's jiggling.

Aaron Tyree

Episode 02.02

I got sick from kid cooties.

Karla Weisenberger

Episode 02.04

I grew up in a place called Loveland. That tells you everything you need to know about how hood and urban I am.

Matt Franklin

Episode 02.06

I know I met the devil.

Spencer Mapes

Episode 02.08

I lacked the skills or douche-baggery to be that kind of a person.

Aaron Tyree

Episode 02.09

I learned that way that negative six hundred is legal tender.

Aaron Tyree

Episode 02.09

I'm waiting, on Pinterest, having a good-old time.

Karla Weisenberger

Episode 02.04

I put a mental turtleneck on myself.

[Anonymous]

Episode 02.08

I put on my Axe body spray and I went over to her apartment.

[Anonymous]

Episode 02.08

I stand and lean on something and try to look like I'm not a pervert.

Matt Franklin

Episode 02.06

It's a good time to go to prom. You get free chicken.

Megan Steffen

Episode 02.10

It's going to be me or shadow dude.

Aaron Tyree

Episode 02.02

It still had the hat on when we put it in the hole.

Jesse Waits

Episode 02.09

I've never said the word 'bling' before, but that's what he was wearing.

Matt Franklin

Episode 02.06

I was pretty much a jumble of crises tied together with a penchant for cheap beer, cigarettes, and scrambled cable pornography.

Aaron Tyree

Episode 02.09

I went down with my 0.22 and fired it in the air. You should have seen that boy get out of there.

Charlie Moore

Episode 02.06

I wish I could back in time and high five my high school self right now.

Will Johnson

Episode 02.10

I would be scared of Tonya, too, if I were a ghost.

Meaghan FitzGerald

Episode 02.01

I would go red and start giggling, and I was talking about the Holocaust or semicolons.

Megan Steffen

Episode 02.10

Karma knew what I had done, and karma got me later.

Katie Davis

Episode 02.05

Let's see how far this car can go and let's see how long this night can last.

Tim Fagel

Episode 02.03

My dad was a persistent guy. He wanted to get it in.

[Anonymous]

Episode 02.01

Oh, and our cat was dead at this point.

Meaghan FitzGerald

Episode 02.01

Okay, Gill's a midget.

Becky Blank

Episode 02.04

OMG, we made it! Look at all the dead people. We're here.

Matt Franklin

Episode 02.06

Pillows aren't supposed to do that, but whatever.

Spencer Mapes

Episode 02.08

She could just shake and everything would be cool.

Rob Sloan

Episode 02.05

She proceeded to mount me.

[Anonymous]

Episode 02.08

She's a lunatic, but of the best kind.

Meaghan FitzGerald

Episode 02.01

She's not crazy for seeing this. She's crazy for ten thousand other reasons.

Meaghan FitzGerald

Episode 02.01

Sometimes the best friends are the worst people to live with.

Aaron Tyree

Episode 02.02

That's when I heard the gunshot.

Charlie Moore

Episode 02.06

The drool. It was terrible.

Aaron Tyree

Episode 02.09

The grandfather lost his arm in a bar fight to a hatchet.

Charlie Moore

Episode 02.06

There are some videos of my time in college that really shouldn't circulate.

Matt Franklin

Episode 02.06

There were Smash Mouth posters everywhere.

Will Johnson

Episode 02.10

There would be no fun time without the safe, snug security of a condom.

Aaron Tyree

Episode 02.09

The same law of physics that allows a blanket to be a guard against monsters apparently can also keep you in your room when your drunk roommate is trying to make you drink more.

Aaron Tyree

Episode 02.02

They started throwing dog treats at us because they're Florida fans.

Drew Hayes

Episode 02.05

They were strippers, but they were in nice dresses. It was very tasteful.

Matt Franklin

Episode 02.06

This is a tale about blatant sexual harrassment that was kind of awesome.

Megan Steffen

Episode 02.10

This was a thing you could say back then and be a legitimate adult.

Will Johnson

Episode 02.10

We did things that adults sometimes do on occasion.

Will Johnson

Episode 02.10

Well, I'm awake. I guess I'll just have mental conversations with my stuffed animals.

[Anonymous]

Episode 02.01

Well, shit. I guess we'll just see how this goes.

Spencer Mapes

Episode 02.08

We're going to need to go to Jimmy John's first.

Katie Davis

Episode 02.05

We were texting back and forth and I decided to get a little flirty.

[Anonymous]

Episode 02.08

Whatever you do, stay away from the windows.

Charlie Moore

Episode 02.06

You can stay up and masturbate to Lily Munster all you want.

Aaron Tyree

Episode 02.02

You have big balls sitting in my section.

Matt Franklin

Episode 02.06

You're kind of weird, but we're weird too, so we accept you.

Meaghan FitzGerald

Episode 02.01

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What's your Squirrel Story?

Everyone has that one embarrassing, goofy, or totally strange story they love to share at parties.

Share Your Story

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